Man. Technology. That's some crazy stuff. I mean, I can do almost anything with my phone: shop, talk to my friends, meet new people, write, become a "photographer", find new ways to do makeup, how to make bacon-wrapped tater tot bombs (I know, right?!), play the piano, and even throw birds at villainous pigs. If I can do all this,sitting in a chair in my room, what's the point of going to school when I can just download an app that can teach me English? What's the point in going to church when I can read the Bible on my phone and visit "Internet Church"? What's the point in learning to speak in front of people when I can just make a Facebook status?
The truth is, I love my phone and my computer. But sometimes I wonderwhat life was like before all these electronic things came into being. I've been told that humanity survived without smart phones, laptops, wifi, and pinterest for 2,000 years but, come on, who really enjoyed life back then without all the things we have today? They had to wash dishes by hand, cook meals without a microwave, make their own clothes, write with a feather, chop wood for a fire to produce heat for their families, wait numerous days to receive correspondence by letter, and their source of entertainment was an old worn out book instead of Netflix.
But if you think about it they also had to verbally ask someone for the answer to their problems instead of Googling it. Boys had to have the courage to ask a girl out face to face instead just texting her. Flowers were more important than Facebook messages, letters were more personal and worth the wait compared to the two seconds it takes to send and reply to a text. People knew how to do things with their hands because someone taught it to them by example, not a how-to tutorial on Youtube. Parents taught their children through books and words, not phones and TVs. Families had to be close to each other because each generation was taught by the previous one virtually everything they knew. Sure, they had moments where they couldn't stand each other like today, but I bet they valued the time they spent together more than we do today.
For example, take dinner time. Today, the family hardly ever eats together. Both parents work and are too tired to cook a full meal for their family when they get home, so they eat fast food on the way back from work and kids just heat something in the microwave. If the family does eat together it's usually in front of a TV, eliminating the need for family conversation. If they eat at a table, how many times does someone have to say, "Put your phone away"? I know my mom has to say it to me quite often. It's hard for us to pay attention to each other because we want to pay attention to the people who aren't with us physically. I understand that people want to keep in touch with people they don't see often, but how much time do you spend talking to the people who live in your house? People wonder why so many families are struggling, well just look at their phone, internet, and electricity bills. Families hardly ever spend time with just each other, talking about the day's activities, reading together, and learning more about each other. It's funny when parents start to realize they have teenagers in their house and say "I don't know my kid anymore!" Well, duh. You guys haven't taken any time to get to know each other! You can spend 18 years living in the same house as someone and know next to nothing about them. I've seen it happen. Kids move out and "find themselves" at college and their parents don't know who they are because they didn't invest very much time in their child. If families could set aside one day of the week as "Family Night" I believe America would see more marriages stay intact, less suicides, kids with better grades, and an altogether more joyful home life. Yes, it's difficult to find a day where everyone's schedules coincide, but you'll see just how important this is for your family.
Another set back from electronics that I've noticed is how hard falling in love has become. I don't want to say that falling/being in love was easy 100 years ago and that now it's impossible all because of the phone, but I do think things are at the very least, more complicated because of phones and the internet. I've learned from personal experience how difficult this is. While I can't say that I've ever fallen in love in a romantic way (when it comes to food, I've fallen in love many times. Pasta is my weakness.), anytime I've come close, my relationship with the person has been affected one way or another by technology. With my phone I can be contacted anytime of the day any day of the week, and my conversations with boys are usually done by texting instead of face to face (which I enjoy much more). I sincerely wish I knew what it was like to receive a letter in the mail a week after I sent one. The feeling of anticipation, wondering what the person thought of my thoughts, seeing their handwriting on a piece of paper that I can keep forever instead of deleting when my messages get full. Texting also has this unsaid rule of immediate response. If you wait more than 10 minutes to respond to someone, they freak out, think you don't care and send another text because obviously your life is not as important as your conversation about what someone's cat just did on the internet. You also have no time to sit and think about a response. I have to admit, I really, really hate the "read it" status that Facebook and phones have. You (as the reader) automatically feel this obligation to respond right then and there because if you don't the other person might feel like you don't care about them. As the person who sent the message, when you see that the person has read it you start wonder, "They haven't replied yet! They think I'm stupid. Why haven't they replied? They're mad at me." With letters you know that it's going to take a while before you get a response. This way, you put more thought into yours words and the person's response is more valuable to you. I once asked a guy if we could send letters to each other, and his response way"Nah, that takes way too long. I'd rather text." Needless to say, we didn't hit off very well. Now, I'm not saying that we should boycott texting and messaging each other and turn Amish, but it would be nice if we could appreciate the words someone says and take time to think about our words. I've seen so many girls posting things like, "I hate how I make such a big deal out of a goodmorning/goodnight text." and "I hate how the way to tell if a guy likes you is by how often he texts you." This is just sad. Have we limited the way we show our emotions to a winky emoji? No one knows how to verbally express their feelings to someone so they use to texting/messaging as an excuse not to verbalize. I remember a guy that I had been texting nonstop for a while and the first time I hung out with him in person, he hardly spoke to me. I spent the whole time thinking he was mad at me, when really he was just shy and didn't know how to speak to me. It really is hard to be apart of this generation because we spend so much time using emojis to convey our feelings that we don't know what to do with our real emotions when we see the person we like face to face. Maybe it's just a teenager thing and when I grow up it'll be easier to have a conversation with a guy without being constricted to a phone. If today's definition of being in love is a heart emoji in a goodnight text, then I'll gladly stay single all my life.
One last thing, I think we have done a disservice to each other in that people don't know how to listen. So much conversation is done through technology that demands a response that it's hard to get the satisfaction of knowing someone will just listen to you. There's a book that I read called "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens". One of the habits was listening. It changed my definition of listening. For so long I thought I was a good listener because I knew how to keep my mouth shut when someone was talking and when they were done I would give my input. However, this book showed me that that is not what a good listener does. A good listener listens. They keep eye contact. They show by nodding their head that they understand. But above this, the listener knows that they do not need to "fix the problem" that someone is telling you about. So many times, when someone tells us what they're going through, our automatic response is to tell them how you went through a similar experience or give them advice on how to fix things. But when in reality, the person may not want your advice or even to know that you can relate. Sometimes, people just want someone to listen to them and offer a shoulder to cry on, or a hug, or someone to be happy for them. But it's hard to do this when you communicate solely through a screen. You can't hug someone through a keyboard or show them that you're happy for them through a screen. Even sending an emoji makes your response seem impersonal and empty. People don't know how to sit down together at a cafe or park and just talk and respond with genuine emotion.
I love technology and I'm so glad I don't have to wash dishes by hand. But I think we've lost a lot of the life that people had before we filled our lives with all this stuff. We talk with people all day long but don't know how to truly communicate with them. Even this blog is done through a screen and a keyboard. If you'll take the time to read this all the way through, you might think, "That's good" and just continue on to the next Facebook post, tweet, or Instagram picture. I wish more adults in had taken the time to invest in my life by taking me to dinner or getting to know me instead of just "liking" a picture on my Facebook. While we've progressed so much because of technology, we've also digressed to an almost anti-social generation obsessed with social media. The dinner table is replaced with TV dinners, family conversations replaced with texts, and emotions replaced with emojis. I really hope that this post will inspire you to spend more face to face time (NOT FaceTime) with your friends, spouse, and children.
Thanks for taking the time to scroll through this! Now put your phone down and explore life!
