A Single Breath

The demons plague my mind
I hear their whispers of sweet nothings
I hear their cries of war
I see their blood on my hands

I thought they were gone
My life could begin
But I am a mirror
The demons are always closer than they appear

I cry for freedom
I beg for mercy
My heart is cold
I am left alone

Suddenly I see a Light
The darkness ebbs away
The demons run
A good Man has come

The warmth of His voice melts the ice
My heart begins to beat
His breath brings me out of stone
I see the colors of life

But no longer is his breath soft
His terrible roar shakes my inner being
His mighty claws pierce my flesh
He brings a death that is so freeing

"Rejoice", He says
The old is gone and life has won
No more am I tormented by days gone past
Redemption is free at last

No heart of stone
Nor tears of death
All redeemed
In a single breath

I've Got the Joy

Lately, I've been listening to the wonderful band Rend Collective and their latest album entitled "The Art of Celebration" and it has really changed my way of thinking. I found their video of the story behind the album and was moved. It brought to life the idea that if I say I am in the Spirit, then I should be filled with joy.

My favorite line in this video is "seriousness is not a fruit of the Spirit, but joy is". I had never heard it put that way before, but it's so true! In our lives, churches, and devotions we strive to create an atmosphere of seriousness in awe of God, which isn't wrong, but we seem to have forgotten that God calls us to "make a joyful noise" to Him. We don't have to have all the right notes or certain instruments, or the right reverb as long as we are praising God with a joyful heart.

Think about this. In the Old Testament when God is telling Moses the rules and guidelines that were to be the basis of their faith, He commands them to set apart certain days just to celebrate! When you read about it, it sounds like He's forcing them to do this. But God knew that we would need a break, and He knew that He would need to command us to take a break. We humans are always so busy trying to meet all of our goals in "the pursuit of happiness" that we forget to take time to just celebrate. We work and work thinking that at some point we will finally have enough and we'll be happy. But the problem with that is that the pursuit of happiness is just that--a pursuit. We will never come to a point where we will always be happy. Happiness is elusive, but joy is eternal.

God wants us to call out to Him with joyful hearts. He doesn't ask for us to have it all together. He doesn't ask you to be happy with where you're at in life. He doesn't ask you to come before Him with shame or guilt. He asks you to take time to rest in His presence with joy. He wants all of you to rejoice in all of Him.

Stop working yourself to death trying to attain a level of happiness that's beyond your reach. Stop thinking you can only worship God with seriousness. God created joy. He created rest. He created laughter. He created the art of celebration. Take time to revel in the glory of God. And make a joyful noise unto the Lord.

Human Right Movement Devo #7: Veteran's Day

Here we are at day 24. The hemming is falling out of my shirt and I can’t get some of the stains out of it and I'm pretty sure that the cat and dog hair is permanently embedded in it . But it was awesome to go to a youth convention and see other people wearing this shirt too. I also got a chance to speak to some kids about what I’m doing and how they could join too. It was really cool.

Since today is Veteran’s Day, I thought I would talk about patriotism. You know, living in America is wonderful. Every day I wake up I’m not afraid of going to work at a church, I don’t have to worry about being fed, I’m not scared of catching ebola, I've got money in my wallet and food in my pantry and two loving parents that have given me so much. And it’s just so maddening when I hear people disrespecting my country. Sure, I don't agree with all the things going on in the government and there are a lot of things that I’d like to change, but I will always love my country, no matter who is sitting in the White House. When I think of all the people who have risked and given their lives over the past 200 years so that I can live in a place of freedom, I’m reminded that it is not the government that I love about this country. It is the people. That’s what this country has always been about. The people. We fight wars not because of hatred, but because of love. We have the right to protect those that we love from those that hate the ones we love. Men and women have given their lives for the freedom that we take for granted every day. We post on Facebook and Twitter how our government is being corrupted and how our country is falling apart and “Wake up, Mr. Obama!” But other countries don’t even have the freedom to say how they feel. We are so blessed. And what do we do with these blessings? We use it to criticize. We use it to speak negatively. Yes, you have the right to your opinions, but don’t take lightly the freedom you have to voice them. I’m not saying I want you to stop posting political things on the internet. I just want you to remember that this country is still good. And the next time you post something about how corrupt this country is, remember our sons and daughter, our mothers and fathers, our sisters and brothers, our best friends are laying down their lives for this country. Remember when we were little and our mothers told us, “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all”? That still applies to us today and it applies to what we post on the internet about our country and political leaders. They are the people leading our country. They need our prayers, whether you agree with them or not. After all, it’s up to us, not just political leaders, to take care of this country. This is a country “of the people, for the people and by the people”. We are a country of the ordinary who can become the extraordinary. Any man can die, but only the brave can die for his country. So many have fallen in the name of freedom, justice, and honor just so that we can have the right to slander our country behind a computer screen? So much has changed since the birth of America, but her people can still love her and care for her. This country was forged for freedom and we should not take that freedom lightly.

We have the right to speak out. So with that freedom speak out life, speak out hope, and above all speak out love. And when our country has done that, then we can say “God bless America.”

I want to say thank you to all who have served our country, in each and every war. Most importantly, I want thank my father for serving in the army and my brother who continues to serve in the army today. You are my heroes and because of you, I can voice my opinion. I owe you and so many others more than I can give. All I can do is thank you. Just know that I believe in you and I still believe that this is a country worth fighting for. Thank you.

Thanks for reading and be sure to check out www.thehumanright.org. See you on Thursday!

I Bet You're Using Your Phone to Read This

Man. Technology. That's some crazy stuff. I mean, I can do almost anything with my phone: shop, talk to my friends, meet new people, write, become a "photographer", find new ways to do makeup, how to make bacon-wrapped tater tot bombs (I know, right?!), play the piano, and even throw birds at villainous pigs. If I can do all this,sitting in a chair in my room, what's the point of going to school when I can just download an app that can teach me English? What's the point in going to church when I can read the Bible on my phone and visit "Internet Church"? What's the point in learning to speak in front of people when I can just make a Facebook status?

The truth is, I love my phone and my computer. But sometimes I wonderwhat life was like before all these electronic things came into being. I've been told that humanity survived without smart phones, laptops, wifi, and pinterest for 2,000 years but, come on, who really enjoyed life back then without all the things we have today? They had to wash dishes by hand, cook meals without a microwave, make their own clothes, write with a feather, chop wood for a fire to produce heat for their families, wait numerous days to receive correspondence by letter, and their source of entertainment was an old worn out book instead of Netflix.

But if you think about it they also had to verbally ask someone for the answer to their problems instead of Googling it. Boys had to have the courage to ask a girl out face to face instead just texting her. Flowers were more important than Facebook messages, letters were more personal and worth the wait compared to the two seconds it takes to send and reply to a text. People knew how to do things with their hands because someone taught it to them by example, not a how-to tutorial on Youtube. Parents taught their children through books and words, not phones and TVs. Families had to be close to each other because each generation was taught by the previous one virtually everything they knew. Sure, they had moments where they couldn't stand each other like today, but I bet they valued the time they spent together more than we do today.

For example, take dinner time. Today, the family hardly ever eats together. Both parents work and are too tired to cook a full meal for their family when they get home, so they eat fast food on the way back from work and kids just heat something in the microwave. If the family does eat together it's usually in front of a TV, eliminating the need for family conversation. If they eat at a table, how many times does someone have to say, "Put your phone away"? I know my mom has to say it to me quite often. It's hard for us to pay attention to each other because we want to pay attention to the people who aren't with us physically. I understand that people want to keep in touch with people they don't see often, but how much time do you spend talking to the people who live in your house? People wonder why so many families are struggling, well just look at their phone, internet, and electricity bills. Families hardly ever spend time with just each other, talking about the day's activities, reading together, and learning more about each other. It's funny when parents start to realize they have teenagers in their house and say "I don't know my kid anymore!" Well, duh. You guys haven't taken any time to get to know each other! You can spend 18 years living in the same house as someone and know next to nothing about them. I've seen it happen. Kids move out and "find themselves" at college and their parents don't know who they are because they didn't invest very much time in their child. If families could set aside one day of the week as "Family Night" I believe America would see more marriages stay intact, less suicides, kids with better grades, and an altogether more joyful home life. Yes, it's difficult to find a day where everyone's schedules coincide, but you'll see just how important this is for your family.

Another set back from electronics that I've noticed is how hard falling in love has become. I don't want to say that falling/being in love was easy 100 years ago and that now it's impossible all because of the phone, but I do think things are at the very least, more complicated because of phones and the internet. I've learned from personal experience how difficult this is. While I can't say that I've ever fallen in love in a romantic way (when it comes to food, I've fallen in love many times. Pasta is my weakness.), anytime I've come close, my relationship with the person has been affected one way or another by technology. With my phone I can be contacted anytime of the day any day of the week, and my conversations with boys are usually done by texting instead of face to face (which I enjoy much more). I sincerely wish I knew what it was like to receive a letter in the mail a week after I sent one. The feeling of anticipation, wondering what the person thought of my thoughts, seeing their handwriting on a piece of paper that I can keep forever instead of deleting when my messages get full. Texting also has this unsaid rule of immediate response. If you wait more than 10 minutes to respond to someone, they freak out, think you don't care and send another text because obviously your life is not as important as your conversation about what someone's cat just did on the internet. You also have no time to sit and think about a response. I have to admit, I really, really hate the "read it" status that Facebook and phones have. You (as the reader) automatically feel this obligation to respond right then and there because if you don't the other person might feel like you don't care about them. As the person who sent the message, when you see that the person has read it you start wonder, "They haven't replied yet! They think I'm stupid. Why haven't they replied? They're mad at me." With letters you know that it's going to take a while before you get a response. This way, you put more thought into yours words and the person's response is more valuable to you. I once asked a guy if we could send letters to each other, and his response way"Nah, that takes way too long. I'd rather text." Needless to say, we didn't hit off very well. Now, I'm not saying that we should boycott texting and messaging each other and turn Amish, but it would be nice if we could appreciate the words someone says and take time to think about our words. I've seen so many girls posting things like, "I hate how I make such a big deal out of a goodmorning/goodnight text." and "I hate how the way to tell if a guy likes you is by how often he texts you." This is just sad. Have we limited the way we show our emotions to a winky emoji? No one knows how to verbally express their feelings to someone so they use to texting/messaging as an excuse not to verbalize. I remember a guy that I had been texting nonstop for a while and the first time I hung out with him in person, he hardly spoke to me. I spent the whole time thinking he was mad at me, when really he was just shy and didn't know how to speak to me. It really is hard to be apart of this generation because we spend so much time using emojis to convey our feelings that we don't know what to do with our real emotions when we see the person we like face to face. Maybe it's just a teenager thing and when I grow up it'll be easier to have a conversation with a guy without being constricted to a phone. If today's definition of being in love is a heart emoji in a goodnight text, then I'll gladly stay single all my life.

One last thing, I think we have done a disservice to each other in that people don't know how to listen. So much conversation is done through technology that demands a response that it's hard to get the satisfaction of knowing someone will just listen to you. There's a book that I read called "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens". One of the habits was listening. It changed my definition of listening. For so long I thought I was a good listener because I knew how to keep my mouth shut when someone was talking and when they were done I would give my input. However, this book showed me that that is not what a good listener does. A good listener listens. They keep eye contact. They show by nodding their head that they understand. But above this, the listener knows that they do not need to "fix the problem" that someone is telling you about. So many times, when someone tells us what they're going through, our automatic response is to tell them how you went through a similar experience or give them advice on how to fix things. But when in reality, the person may not want your advice or even to know that you can relate. Sometimes, people just want someone to listen to them and offer a shoulder to cry on, or a hug, or someone to be happy for them. But it's hard to do this when you communicate solely through a screen. You can't hug someone through a keyboard or show them that you're happy for them through a screen. Even sending an emoji makes your response seem impersonal and empty. People don't know how to sit down together at a cafe or park and just talk and respond with genuine emotion.

I love technology and I'm so glad I don't have to wash dishes by hand. But I think we've lost a lot of the life that people had before we filled our lives with all this stuff. We talk with people all day long but don't know how to truly communicate with them. Even this blog is done through a screen and a keyboard. If you'll take the time to read this all the way through, you might think, "That's good" and just continue on to the next Facebook post, tweet, or Instagram picture. I wish more adults in had taken the time to invest in my life by taking me to dinner or getting to know me instead of just "liking" a picture on my Facebook. While we've progressed so much because of technology, we've also digressed to an almost anti-social generation obsessed with social media. The dinner table is replaced with TV dinners, family conversations replaced with texts, and emotions replaced with emojis. I really hope that this post will inspire you to spend more face to face time (NOT FaceTime) with your friends, spouse, and children.

Thanks for taking the time to scroll through this! Now put your phone down and explore life!

Bread, Games, and Hopelessness: Catching Fire Questions

• What does the portrayal of violence in Catching Fire communicate? Is it a glorification of violence, or critique of how we willingly consume violence for entertainment?

          The violence in Catching Fire (which is my favorite of the Hunger Games trilogy) is not a glorification of violence. I believe that Suzanne Collins (the author) was trying to communicate to the world what could happen to America if we continued to feed our ever-growing lust for violence. The main characters (Katniss and Peeta) along with other past tributes spend their days trying to drown out their memories of the violence and horror in the arenas. There are some tributes who relish the games-they were trained to fight in the games for most of their lives. These tributes are hungry for death, but Collins never portrays them as the heroes-on the contrary, she shows them as cruel and evil tyrants. What Collins is trying to communicate with the violence is a warning: violence should never be the source of our entertainment.

• What does Catching Fire say about voyeurism and our culture's obsession with reality television? How are we acting similarly to the residents of Panem when we can't take our eyes off shows like Jersey Shore, Desperate Housewives or Honey Boo-Boo, that portray people ruining their lives? How do these shows disconnect us from reality?

           We want to know everything about everyone else and what they're doing and who their doing it with while not giving any thought to the building and sustaining our own lives. The people in the Capitol were obsessed with knowing all the details of Peeta and Katniss's wedding yet didn't even realize that there were districts that were rioting against the Capitol and that many innocent people were being killed. The only thing they saw in the Hunger Games were random people sacrificing themselves and each other for their country-not innocent children subject to the tyranny of the land that demanded that their salvation be bought with their own blood. We care more about the little things in the lives of people we don't know than the hurt in the world around us. If we're bored with our own lives, we can just turn on the TV and watch other people's scripted drama and feel better about our lives. These shows aren't actual reality; they were made with sugar and spice and nothing too nice and doused in pointless drama that either gives us a false security that our lives aren't all that bad or makes us feel like our lives need more excitement.

• What do we miss out on when we are distracted by reality shows or empty entertainment?Can you think of five things that would be more valuable to do?

          We miss out on all the truly important and exciting things of life. How are we going to acomplish our dreams when we have a TV schedule to keep? We hear about kids in Africa who need water and food and place to sleep at night, but the trip alone to get there would cause you to miss a week's worth of sitcoms. We say "feed the homeless and clothe the poor" but what we really mean is "someone else go do this because I'm too busy with my own issues" as we grab a beer and the remote. When it comes to more valuable things to do, there is a lot. How about instead of letting the TV babysit your kid, actually sit down with him yourself and read him a book or take her for a walk. In the long run, what your child will remember from his childhood is his parents spending and investing time in him, not a bunch of catchy theme songs. You could take the time you spend watching TV to learn a new instrument or develop a talent, read a new book or reread an old favorite, be a valet for someone who can't drive, or take a road trip to a place you've never been. These things will not only be valuable to your life and possibly others', but they will also be memorable.

• Does the decadent and extravagant lifestyle of the Capitol bear any resemblance to our time and culture?

          I think that our culture is like the culture of that in the Capitol in that we put such emphasis on looks-we must look a certain way and if we don't or wear something "outdated" we are considered lame, boring, and unpopular. We want the best of things for ourselves without giving a thought to things that we really need. We want more and more, bigger and better. While also getting bigger things like TVs, cars, beds,  and houses, we strive to make our bodies smaller. One of the best parts of the book (in my opinion) was when Katniss and Peeta were at their engagement party at the Capitol and they were handed a drink that was supposed to make them throw up in order to let them eat more. How like our culture would it be for us to invent something like this? Everyone is obsessed with obtaining the perfect body yet can't stand the thought of giving up their favorite junk food. We are much like the people of the Capitol in too many ways.

• What does the series communicate about totalitarianism and oppressive governments-threats faced by millions the world over today?

          The Hunger Games shows that totalitarianism is a cruel way to live. In no way does it communicate a wish for that kind of government on other people. As an American with the rights that allow me to live in complete freedom (compared to most), it's hard to read of a futuristic America where the citizens' every move was watched and limited. It's heartbreaking to think of America becoming like that. I think it's very clear that no one (except maybe the oblivious people in the Capitol) likes the way their country is run. They want a different form of government and are determined to destroy the present one with any means possible.

• Would a Christian respond differently than Katniss, Peeta, etc. in the situations Collins and the filmmakers put them in?

          Assuming that the term "Christian" is referring only to those who have made a true commitment to Christ, not the ones who just attend church every so often without giving Jesus complete surrender, then I would say that a Christian would probably act in a lot of ways like Peeta but have a different motive for it. Peeta didn't kill anyone and protected Katniss because he loved her. I do not think that a Christian would kill anyone in the Hunger Games. They would want to protect the innocent (like Katniss protected Rue), but could not intentionally kill anyone for the sake of winning the Games because of the moral issues involved. However, self-defense is another thing to take into consideration. The Bible is full of situations where godly men and women armed themselves in order to defend their lives and the lives of those they loved. If it came to combat, I would think that their survival instincts would come into play. In the situation of rising against the government, I would think the Christians would act like the heroes of the American Revolution against England. They did not fight with malice, but with the love of their country and with the hope of freedom in their hearts. When it comes down to it, the Christian may do the same as others, but the reasons behind it and the way they do it should be completely different.

• Is the any hope in Panem? Where do you find hope today?

          The people's only hope in Panem seems to be Katniss. They are hoping she will deliver them from the oppressive government and bring freedom. They look to her as the face of revolution. She had the guts to defy the Capitol and inspired the majority of her country to do so also. I find hope in many things. I find hope in the first few days of spring. I find hope in reading books. I find hope in listening to music. I find hope in my parents' faces. I find hope in my church listening to the congregation sing. But most of all, I find hope in Jesus. No one has shown me the love and mercy that He has. He reminds me that even though I fail over and over and feel so alone that He will always love me and never leave me.

#PKRant

This post is a bit more personal. Just some things that I'd like to get off my chest.

I've had a very interesting life so far. It's been very exciting. It's only been 16 years since I arrived on this planet, but I've learned a lot. I was born as a pastor's kid and grew up in the church. I know the ins and outs of a lot of churches and can say the books of the Bible faster than most people can name the first 5 books of the Bible. Our family has also had many different children from many different backgrounds running in and out of our house since we do foster care. I've been to almost every state in the U.S. (43, I think). I went to a Christian school, public school, and am currently being home schooled. It seems like no matter where I go, someone knows me and my family. It's crazy how many times I'll go somewhere and people will come up to me and say things like, "Oh, you're Pastor Ruthie's daughter, aren't you? That must be so much fun!" or "Isn't your dad the bus driver? I love him!" or "I know your uncle, he was the JBQ guy!"

There's so many faces and they all seem to know my life story, yet I've never seen them before. I guess one of the annoying things about being a PK (Pastor's Kid) is that everyone thinks they know everything about you. In reality, however, no one really knows anything about me. They know my family story but they don't know my story. Yet, it's hard to get people to listen. And who can you trust to tell your story to? It's not like you can go up to someone in the church and explain the pain and hurt the church has given you.

It's even worse if you've got your own personal problems. Testimony time is very hard for me. Everyone gets up and tells people how they used to drink, party, and have sex all the time and then Jesus saved them. It's great testimony, it really is. But if I were to get up in front of people and tell them how I used to be suicidal and addicted to porn and then only a couple years ago did I really decide to follow Jesus, the church would probably go crazy. There's so many expectations that are thrust upon you as a PK. People expect you to be a perfect role model that never goes through anything drastic. No one would molest a PK; no PK has depression; no PK knows what it's like to see their parents go through a divorce; no PK gets drunk; no PK gets a girl pregnant while still in high school. It's like we're not allowed to live life because if we did, it must mean that everything in our family is wrong, or we're not really saved, or our parents weren't actually called into ministry and we're making everything up. What I'd like to get through to people is that just because a PK sins, that doesn't mean that their parents were mistaken about their livelihood. PKs (and pastors too) are just normal people who make mistakes. Pastors' kids are just kids. Most people wouldn't expect their children to be a perfect role model for the rest of the kids in their community, yet they seem to think that because our parents stand behind a pulpit on Sunday mornings, God gave us some special "perfect kid" powers. Which is totally false.

I have to admit that I've always hated that part at camp where we all gather in our cabins and talk about what God did in our lives that night. Everyone's always scared to say what happened, but they don't have the same fears of what might happen if they tell someone. I mean if you're a PK and you've been sneaking around getting drunk and hooking up with anyone and everyone, you can't really tell anyone at all. At camp, kids feel more comfortable telling their counselors because they're usually someone that doesn't live near them and doesn't know their parents. But if you're a PK, everyone knows your parents. So you don't want to tell anyone what you're going through because you just know that somehow it's going to get back to your parents. Even worse, if you tell someone from your church what you do, they might tell other people in the church and then horrible rumors get started which will definitely get back to your parents. Unfortunately when this happens, people are trying to hurt your parents' reputations. For some reason, they think that if the pastor's kid is acting up it means they aren't a good pastor. This is completely unfair no matter how you look at it. It's like saying that since a rock star's kid isn't a good singer, then he probably isn't a good rock star. Believe it or not, some kids just don't want to do what their parents tell them to do.

It would just be nice to know who I can talk to. A lot of people go to their pastor for help, but some times I would like some feedback other than my parents. It's just very hard to know who it is that I should talk to. I'd just like someone to talk to me without them viewing me as a PK. I want them to see me as a normal person who has needs. I want them to see that I bleed red blood, not old church history books (although, I wouldn't be surprised if I did). I know that's a hard thing for people to do, but it would be nice if people tried more often.

I'm sorry if I sound rude or inconsiderate. I really love being a PK and I wouldn't trade it for the world. I just want people to know the truth-that PKs need love too.

The Call To Give

Have you ever felt distant from God, like things weren't right but you didn't think you were doing anything wrong?

I know I've felt that way many times.

When you feel like this, you should take a look at your life. Usually the times when you're most distant from God are the times when you're being self-centered. God demands our all. Our all is a lot. We want to keep it to ourselves. We're scared. We're scared that we'll be hurt, rejected, laughed at. While these fears are very real, they're also very limiting. When you give your all to God, He will give His all to you. It's amazing how just giving a few dollars to someone who needs it can make you feel as if someone just gave you a million dollars! The only way to explain this is the Holy Spirit. He comes along and shows you how giving yourself to God to help others is really so much better than just living for yourself. You really have nothing when you keep everything to yourself. Giving is the opposite. The more you give, the more you have. I know this sounds like an oxymoron, but it's true. Money cannot buy you true happiness. But seeing the joy on the faces of homeless people who were given just a few scraps of hot food, or the mother who received some money and doesn't have to worry about feeding her children, or the child who hears about the love of Jesus for the first time- these are the things that bring a happiness that will last forever. These things are only acquired by giving something. While people need money, a lot of times what people really want is your time. It's hard to give it away, but if you want all of God you need to give Him all of you.

Firstly, spend time with God. Dive deep into His Word- as you grow, so will the Bible. The words will no longer be just stories you heard as a child, but letters from God to you explaining all His glory and mystery. The Bible is so much more than a lesson from Sunday School- it's like life hacks or shortcuts, showing you how to avoid most of the pain in the world. Spend time in prayer- talking with God. Listen to what He wants to tell you. Any relationship requires communication. The first relationship between God and Man set the path for every relationship through communication and spending time with each other. God still desires to communicate and spend time with us today. Spend time worshiping God. A common misconception among people today is equating worship with music. Music is a form of worship, but it is not the only way to worship. Worship is how you treat God. Worship should be the way you live. "So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God" (1 Corinthians 10:31). Worshiping God deepens your relationship with Him and renews your spirit. It connects you with God in a way that nothing else can.

Secondly, spend time with people. Get to know the people you're surrounded by daily. How much do you know about your coworkers, the people you sit by in church, your neighbors, or even your family? As you spend more time with God and grow to love Him more, your love for people will grow also. You will value the time you have with them because you will view them as God views them and you will see them as God's children. Open yourself up to the people closest to you and you will be greatly rewarded. Yes, pain and hurt may come when you get to know people better, but in the end it will be worth it all. If your friendships are all rainbows and butterflies and rabbits and sunshine with no hurt, your "friends" probably won't stick around very long. People hate pain, but the truth is if you spend time with them, working through the pain, they will respect you and they will respect your relationship. People just want to know that people care for them. They don't want a hand out, or your pity, or a "I feel bad that I have all this money and you don't" kind of attitude. They want you to take the time to get know them, to hear their story. Listen. Don't give advice. Listen. They want your heart, not your words. Spending time with others shows them that you care more about their needs than about yourself. No one likes self-centered people, but everybody loves the one who is willing to be there for them no matter what the cost.

One of the surest signs of a healthy, growing relationship with God is healthy, growing relationships with the people around you. The best way to learn how to have better relationships with people is to start with God. He will show you what a true friendship is; how giving everything to Him is really better than keeping everything for you.